If there's very little discussion happening (most sex parties will not have much talking), consent may be given non-verbally. Many people enjoy group scenes that they call "gang rape," even though what they enjoy is nothing like rape, just rough group sex. That is the core principle of kink: play must be consensual, even if it appears not to be. All submissive/dominant sex scenes and BDSM scenes toy with degrees of power exchange and consensual surrender. Many people (including me) enjoy sex that feels noncensual, even if it is. If there is no dominant, and he's there by his own volition, he's still forfeiting a degree of consent (especially if he's blindfolded), but if he says stop, you must stop. By being in that situation, some degree of consent has been forfeited - handed over - by him to someone else, so ask permission of the person it’s been given to.
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If you’re going to a kinky dungeon party and a submissive is tied and gagged and getting fucked by a group of guys, ask who is his dominant before fucking him, since his consent has been handed over to someone else. We enjoy these spaces for their anonymity, but they can be frightening to people who don’t understand their purpose. A blacked-out, lights-off room, for instance, invites groping from people you can’t see. In certain sex spaces, some consent is forfeited with the act of entering them. They may be lights-off, or they may require hoods or other gear that obscures features. They are structured with the intent of keeping the identities of everyone present relatively secret. Prepare polite ways to refuse, and state what you’re comfortable with without any judgement. If you’re sober, or if there are some substances you’ll accept and others you don’t want to be around, prepare for this discussion. Some guys live in fantasies pretending drugs don’t exist, or that they can be avoided by staying away from “those people.” These guys contribute to a culture of erasure and stigma in which our brothers suffer, unaided and misunderstood.ĭon’t do that. If you make sex parties a regular part of your weekends, you will encounter substances. It's important to know that these risks are real.ĭon’t let the reality of drugs dissuade you from sex parties. These risks are true of all illicit substances, regardless if you use them at a sex party or your grandmother's Sunday luncheon. Two key risks in taking unregulated compounds (street drugs) is that you never know what you’re taking, and you don’t know how they’ll interact with each other. Here’s 55 dos and don’ts of attending a gay sex party. Get past your notions about who attends them (you’ll meet pros and first-timers, kinky and vanilla, old and young) and go to one. No matter the specifics, you're there to play. Sometimes the backroom/play area is tucked away near the bathrooms - a lights-out area you have the option of entering. Sometimes the party is one giant sex party. That led me to large dance/play parties, events with hundreds of guys in attendance: sweat fests and dark dance floors with slings off to one side. I liked the freedom and camaraderie of playing with others without pressure or expectation. After we separated, I became the third guy and played with couples across the country.
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The only problem with that, of course, is that it’s hard to agree on things as a couple - guys included. My boyfriend and I hit the bars seeking guys we both thought were cute. There was one dude that was riding another guy (cowgirl style) and yelling “Balles Tief!”… I ask the dude next to me, “What’s he screamin’?!” and he informs me “Balles Tief” is German for “Balls Deep”.In the beginning, we found thirds. ‘Now there are naked guys everywhere! Sucking each other off. Just as Kyle’s had enough for one night, he remembers that his phone is still with one of the London guys – so has to schlep back through to club to find him… There’s another guy, and I kid you not…he’s got his arm, almost to his elbow, up another guy’s ass! I thought it was a magic trick or an illusion. ‘I take my eyes off of that situation and it only gets worse. ‘On my way to grab a beer, I pass in disbelief, a bearded guy butt f*cking the crap out of another bearded dude. ‘One of the London guys goes into a rage and starts cussing me out and grabs my phone yelling: “DON’T LOOK AT YOUR PHONE. ‘While we are standing there looking for the spot to cut, I take out my phone to check Facebook,’ he writes. Straight Man goes to gay sex club in Berlin, leaves a must-read review